Why Violence in the Home Begets Violence in the Community and Global Unrest.

  • Kay Urlich


As Christmas rolls around people like Dr. Ang Jury ONZM and NZ Women Refuge gear themselves up for the predictable influx of (mainly) women and children: Overcrowded sanctuaries that cater to the misery of domestic violence and the inevitable shortage of funds and wasted resources; Wasted resources? you might ask.

Yes, wasted, because, as is often the case money is thrown down the bottom of the cliff, and little is done about the cause.

Statistics show us that one in three women in New Zealand will experience domestic violence: 84 percent of victims are women. 

Instead of addressing the cause which is male violence, society mostly ignores the problem, blames the victim, or justifies why it is that some men behave this way which reflects on the society we live in. And, limited funds are put into helping victims especially indigenous women who are victimized more than their counterparts.

New Zealand has the highest rate of domestic violence in the OECD. Sadly, while domestic violence is a major cause of new mothers and pregnant women's deaths in  New Zealand it has been overtaken by suicide.

Maternal suicide: Leading cause of death of pregnant women, new mothers, report reveals - NZ Herald, Suicide is the leading cause of death among pregnant women and new mums, a worrying report by the Helen Clark Foundation reveals.

The findings have sparked anger from advocates who say women are being treated appallingly in our health system and it's time for action.

The report, Āhurutia Te Rito It Takes a Village, also found wāhine Māori were three times more likely to die from maternal suicide than non-Māori.


I have found in my work with The Structure of Energy Healing that it is complicated and we can't just blame men, because being aggressive and dominant is a role assigned to maleness: it is a social construct to disconnect men from their deepest humanity.

This disconnect shows itself in many ways. For example, like the unconscious action of people making space for some males walking down the sidewalk; that having right-of-way is a dominant male entitlement (read MEN).

As is not crying or not having empathy when someone is upset and crying, it is behavior bred into men from birth; it is grooming of the worst kind.


While there is much improvement to the system made in the area of conscious childcare it has not gone far enough to affect the cause of suicide rates for men as well from a social system that has lost touch with its soul, where men and women are suffering greatly, and passing this trauma onto their children.

These children,  lose touch with consciousness and balance in their energy fields. 

Unfortunately, this causes the effect of one field dominating the rest. Below is how the world works now. Most of all we must realize that this is a surface level of the male and female polarity and that these aspects are the face of deeper gender and sexual issues.

And how gender imbalance, misogyny, and male entitlement affect world safety.

Click Here to find out how a safe world would work at the Aotearoa Vision

For instance, when we look at the state of Ukraine, Syria, Gaza, etc The Structure of Energy explains  the imbalance of male and female power and its effect on personal and global events where female ENERGETIC attributes have little sway in brutal politics and the suffering of civilians (read A Path to Peace in the Middle East)


This is far beyond the role of men and women, it is about how we are human; it is about embracing all of our humanity.

Attributes such as compassion which promotes empathy, and intuition promote greater clarity and deeper understanding of other points of view: these are qualities that exist in all men and women, that life experiences squash in childhood through violence, poor mental health, drugs, porn, and alcohol.

We are heavily influenced by the structure we live in and like fish who don’t see the water we swim in where, to some degree, men and women collude in its construct. Men, generally, have been cruelly punished in this system for having ‘feelings’ and ‘for being girly’. ( find out more in MEN: Are They the Biggest Problem in the World: is the planet suffering testosterone overload?)

It is well-documented that most terrorists have a history of domestic violence. This has only recently been acknowledged by government groups that violence is systemic, and personal acts of violence is a precursor for global violence seen as part of ‘being human’(see Aotearoa Vision). But that is not so, as many people realize it is a human construct and as such must be treated as another serious issue that has a solution.

What is desperately needed is ‘the will’ to change from violence in the home, which if not healed promotes violence in the community which in turn promotes war.

And it is not just NZ, Domestic Violence happens it is everywhere like in Britain as noted by The Guardian, Daniel Boffey Chief Reporter, Wed 6 Dec 2023

Domestic violence - TheGuardian

Most victims of domestic homicide have contacted police or NHS, review shows

A review of 302 domestic homicides recorded in seven years has found that the majority of those killed had been “hiding in plain sight”, having made contact with the police, health services, and other public agencies before their death.

Nicole Jacobs, the government’s independent domestic abuse commissioner for England and Wales, said the findings highlighted an ongoing lack of “political will” at the national level to learn from what were often avoidable deaths. Jacobs called for police to use the same sort of tactics they deploy to tackle organized crime, including surveillance of suspected perpetrators.


Meanwhile, we will not witness the horror of beaten and murdered victims who are seen, loved, housed, and supported by people such as Dr. Ang Jury ONZM, and Peace Through Compassions person of the year 2023

Dr. Jury has worked within the Women's Refuge movement since the 1990s and fulfilled every role within Women’s Refuge from a volunteer, to advocate, to management to board member. In addition, she has been instrumental in the development of cross-agency collaborations both regionally and nationally.

Her history through the 1990s involved teaching, researching, writing, and speaking in the areas of gender and domestic violence while completing doctoral research (an exploration of the role of shame within abusive relationships) at Massey University.

Dr Jury has since presented her research to a number of forums within New Zealand and internationally. After completing formal studies she worked for some time developing and coordinating family violence collaborations within the Manawatu and Whanganui regions under the umbrella of the government’s Te Rito Family Violence Strategy before returning to Women’s Refuge and her most recent role in 2009.

Homicide leading cause of death for pregnant women in U.S. | News | Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health

Homicide leading cause of death for pregnant women in U.S.

October 21, 2022 – Women in the U.S. who are pregnant or who have recently given birth are more likely to be murdered than to die from obstetric causes—and these homicides are linked to a deadly mix of intimate partner violence and firearms, according to researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.

Homicide deaths among pregnant women are more prevalent than deaths from hypertensive disorders, hemorrhage, or sepsis, wrote Rebecca Lawn, postdoctoral research fellow, and Karestan Koenen, professor of psychiatric epidemiology, in an October 19 editorial in the journal BMJ.

The U.S. has a higher prevalence of intimate partner violence than comparable countries, such violence is often fatal, and it frequently involves guns, Lawn and Koenen noted. They cited one study that found that, from 2009–2019, 68% of pregnancy-related homicides involved firearms. That study also found that Black women face a substantially higher risk of being killed than white or Hispanic women.

Laws restricting women’s access to reproductive care and abortion can place women at further risk since control over a woman’s reproductive choices often plays a role in intimate partner violence, Lawn said in an October 20 U.S. News & World Report article. Lenient firearms legislation can also increase the risk.

Koenen and Lawn called gun violence “a health emergency for pregnant women.” But they added that pregnancy-related homicides are preventable. When pregnant women have checkups, healthcare providers can identify those at risk of violence and try to help them, Lawn told CNN.

We honor and thank Dr Jury and other participants in their efforts of domestic violence prevention

Find out more at KayUrlich BOOKs

Read A Path to Peace in the Middle East: An Aotearoa Vision


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