What I Have Learned During My Mammoth Stroke and Back Injury
- Kay Urlich
Five months ago I suffered a stroke which paralyzed the right side of my body. I lost the use of my right arm, and leg, and couldn't talk properly. A month later as I was progressing well through my therapy I fell and fractured my spine (I am right hand which was tough as, amongst other things, I write)
Now, as I lay here exhausted from the drugs I am taking to control my blood pressure, the predominant thought running through my mind is what a gift it is to see the world from so many perspectives: as a child; adult; lover; mother; wife; single mother; wealthy; poor; winner; loser; happy; miserable, and now a patient, I realize on a much deeper level that the suffering I have experienced (physical pain was tough) was mostly due to hanging on to how I wanted life to be.
I live and learn more fully in my soul that all life is a gift, the good the bad, and the ugly and I accept it.
I’ve learned that the difficult feelings I have experienced are a deception meant to keep me from my true self which is peaceful, harmonious, and joyful.
It doesn’t mean that life is a bed of roses or I have achieved sainthood. It means when the bad moments come up they do not drown out the truth of me. As I allow the waves of self-pity or anger, or whatever I am feeling to rise, I know full well that they will pass; that these feelings are not what I Am.
These are difficult times, I look around at the world and there is much to trigger me into reaction and righteous response to much of what is happening because it is not how I want the world to be.
But, similarly, like my personal response I know on a much deeper level that the suffering we feel collectively is due mostly to hanging on to how we know life could be.
But change can only come about through love.
So, know when you are hurt, angry, and suffering they are a lie.
Know also that you are a gift and the love you bring to this world matters, it makes a difference, and whether you are Christian, Muslim, or Jew only love will change the world.
Sending love to you and to say the most important thing at this time is to know the truth of what you are:
You are LOVE
And your purpose here is to Be Love.