8 Reasons Why Men Should Mentor Women (and 4 Things Women Would Like to Say To You)
- Kay Urlich
You can see, with people like Jacinda Ardern, Sheryl Sandberg, and Marianne Williamson that women have not only Leaned In to men's business but bent over backward to succeed in politics, business, and spiritual leadership and they have reached the top, the pinnacle of success in their respective fields.
Apart from their drive and intelligence, these women endured years of study and drudgery through competitive environments. Like their male counterparts, they opened their minds to be mentored through the slippery vistas of the male-dominated perspective.
So you understand that women have not only entered ManWorld but they have embraced it. Women know they can do anything, right?
But then, since the #metoo revolution took place some men say they are afraid to mentor women because ‘it’s too risky.’ And, so, because women are bold and telling their stories of sexual violation while enduring more shame and ridicule, they feel they have the right to refuse to support women in their field of expertise.
Stories abound similar to the Warwick University example where a young woman to her horror discovered a Facebook page in which her male peers described in great detail how they would tie her down, have her urinate on herself, rape and violate her and also her female friends. Her ‘friend’ tried to fob her off explaining “not to worry it’s just guy stuff.” That the comments they would “rape the whole flat to teach them a lesson.” And “Oh god, I would hate to be in the firing line if I had a vagina” was just guy stuff?
Do you refuse to mentor because you’ve been taught that above all else you must stand up for other men?
Where you turn a blind eye to ‘guy-stuff’ and remain in the bubble imprinted since childhood giving you permission to overlook the bullying and terror that is inflicted upon those around you?
What if this young woman was your daughter?
Are these the women you will not mentor? The unreasonable ones who are shocked and frightened who alert their friends and the authorities. They who have awoken to the confusion and are speaking out about the scandals going on all around them?
Like girls, through learned detachment in childhood little boys fell asleep to the corruption going on around them; they had to disassociate from their feelings to remain oblivious to the different versions of injury they witnessed, and that they also endured while qualifying for 'manhood'.
Because you are at the low end of the scale of obstructing women's voices do you think that silence excludes you from being part of the system that blocks female empowerment?
It’s like we are playing an invisible chess competition, a game that many do not know they are in. Aware or not, obvious or obscured it is a game in which half the population lose as you thwart fair play through collusion by saying you don’t understand the moves we are making, that they confuse you.
Because let's be honest here since many of you probably weren’t mentoring women before the #metoo phenomenon, why do you continue to blame women for your ethical failures: do you know this snub bruises both genders emotionally as well as women financially?
If you didn’t know by now, you should understand that the rules of manliness have changed. And it is time to ‘cut the spin.’ When you say you don’t understand women and will not mentor them, most of us see it as the Board Game it is - another ploy to avoid moral leadership.
This is the duplicity we’ve been taught to ignore or collude with on some level too to assure your manliness, to be silent about throughout our lives and not speak up as people continue to be harmed. And this is why many of us are speaking out now to make the violence stop.
And we are asking you to support the move and speak out too.
Women are saying in our many ways that the game is over and it is time for you to step into our world. It is time to try harder to understand the women and children and men who are already there - some of whom suffered abuse yet who are standing up. Those who have grown up are asking that you grow up too, that you acknowledge WomanWorld exists and you are willing to lean in to our reality.
So, despite the fact that some people do want sex in the office, how about meeting them somewhere after work but - don’t tell half the population that we are sending ‘mixed messages’ that tell you to ‘flip your penis out in the office.’ Or ‘rub yourself against me while I’m doing the photocopying?’ or ‘pinch my breasts when we’re discussing today's financial report or serving you coffee?’. Or that you ‘now can’t mentor us because you don’t know what women want.’ So, no. Stop. Understand that most women in the workplace just want to do their job.
Here are 4 things that women would like to say to you,
· It has been drummed into my psyche since childhood that I must be polite and I try to be nice because your approval or disapproval will affect my life, and my family's income and wellbeing depend on my earnings.
· Think about who is watching - would they approve? Just treat me as if your mother or your wife were in the room (unless they are narcissist sociopaths).
· If you can’t trust yourself to treat me like a human being then please bring an assistant with you like Doctors used to do. (If a doctor was treating a female patient they would have a nurse with them in the room. Do they still do that?)
· Can you step into my world for a moment? Because if you care about what I want or how I feel, you would listen and try to understand my point of view: you would make more of an effort to 'walk in my shoes.'
Understand, that it is you who needs to take responsibility for your actions because the following 8 reasons are why mentoring a woman and entering WomanWorld affects everybody,
1. Not just for yourself but to hold other men to account too because what you do together is sending messages to the little boys at schools, on the sports fields, universities and in the workplace and they are your sisters, wives, daughter’s and granddaughter’s friends - and you want your family to be free from threats of rape, abuse, and sabotage, don’t you?
2. The thing is, we know that the childhood coding that was drummed into women, men endured too just with a different script. So when you open up and receive a little mentoring from what we have to offer, it will help you get past the early conditioning that damaged your psyche as it did ours; that brutalized you by blocking the nurturing and gentle aspects of your spirit.
3. When you enter WomanWorld you will understand opening to more lifeforce will have a positive impact on your heart health
4. Entering WomanWorld is the greatest preventative action you can take against bullying or succumbing to the soaring male suicide rates, male incarceration, and breaking the cycle of becoming a domestic violence perpetrator.
5. It is well-documented that terrorists are traumatized and begin their fear tactics first with male on female violence which then impacts on how we treat each other in society and how this then grows into global conflict.
6. You will see that as aligning with WomanWorld unfolds, it will change how you perceive the world - that we are not separate, that we are small cogs within a larger scheme of things connected to the inner-beauty and wisdom that when unleashed this feminine nurturing force affects how you view the Earth, the animals, and the wider environment
7. In the same way that decades-old sexual abuse long forgotten by many is coming to the fore so too, as you tick-off the traits you are activating in the diagram below, you will notice that what you do now has repercussions in the future.
8. As the boys and girls, men and women you mentor now grow they too will affect the wellbeing of the hearts and minds of the generations to come. And it is this that shapes the consciousness of humanity – that as you embrace WomanWorld and the deeper aspects of yourself - you create space in the world where infant hearts and minds can remain open to the loving, caring mentorship of those who guide them over the tripwires and through the negative forces to activate their whole Self. And this affects the welfare and the survival of the planet.
Our combined future depends on this.
Funding Urgently Required for the SAFY: Self Awareness For Youth new thought suicide prevention program